Everybody has flaws. We should not try to hide them or pretend they don’t exist. Instead, as the first step to self-love, we should embrace them and use them as a strength. Learning to love yourself can feel like a daunting task, but there are ways to make it easier. 

Madison Reed at home hair color


Many people wish they had better qualities, but there’s no such thing as perfection. Every person on the planet has flaws of some kind. Yes, even the seemly perfect models, athletics, and scholars we look up to for their beauty, strength, and intelligence. Everyone is flawed.


We each have our own strengths and weaknesses. We tend to be frustrated or disappointed with the parts of ourselves that are “less-than-perfect” and that lowers our self-esteem and makes it harder to love ourselves. Our society puts a great deal of emphasis on being perfect, which more often than not, leaves us feeling poorly about ourselves.


We often end up spending a great deal of time and money trying to fix our flaws. In doing this, many people just end up making themselves very unhappy. And do you know why that is? Because perfection is not obtainable.


An important part of self-love is accepting all of our quirks and any perceived shortcomings and imperfections. It is essential to learn how to love each and every part of who we are in order to fully embrace self-love.




how to love your flaws

How To Love Your Flaws


Learning to welcome your imperfections fosters a strong sense of self, which is important for living an authentic life. It’s about holding all parts of you in high esteem, even the flaws.


The following are ways you can begin to appreciate your imperfections:


1. Own Your Insecurities


A great place to begin is by overcoming your self-doubt. Acknowledging the way that you feel about your perceived flaws is so important to sort through the emotions that fill you with pain and allow you to be able to release your insecurities.


We can be our own harshest critic which, in turn, makes it really difficult to feel good about ourselves. We may never quite feel “good enough”.


“The mind is a powerful force, and we have the ability to change our outlook and beautifully embrace our uniqueness.”

Jennifer Galvan, PhD


Recognize that your flaws are actually characteristics that make you unique. Outer beauty is temporary. If it makes you feel better to try the latest make-up trends or to dress stylishly, then by all means do so. Just know that true beauty comes from the inside.


When you acknowledge your feelings, you free yourself from the hurt and can begin healing.


2. Reframe Negative Thoughts


It is so easy to fall into the trap of feeling unworthy because of what we see as our shortcomings. Most of the time, these ideas are not coming from outside sources but rather from inside ourselves. There’s that tiny voice in the back of our head that can stop us dead in our tracks and make us feel inferior.


Those negative thoughts can affect your mindset and can do a great deal of harm. Catch yourself whenever you begin to criticize yourself and really put forth the effort to turn it around with the power of positive thinking. We all deserve to feel loved, and it should always begin with ourselves, which is why reframing our thoughts is essential.


3. Be Thankful


Recognizing these parts of ourselves isn’t always easy but it should be, as it makes the building up process much easier. Forgive yourself for things you’ve done badly and mistakes you have made. Practice gratitude for how your flaws may have helped you. You might need a reminder that there’s beauty in everything. Try to see the good in what you may typically see as bad.


As an exercise, try reflecting on the parts of yourself that you’ve never liked. Try seeking out positive affirmations and recognizing your accomplishments. Instead of focusing more on the things that are lacking, shift that focus to the things you already have.


You will find a gratitude journal inside the CoolBeanLiving Resource Library. This is a great way to show appreciation for all parts of you and things surrounding your life.


4. Let It Go


Kick your unrealistic expectations to the curb, just like in the song.


Let it go, let it go
When I’ll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand in the light of day
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway

Idina Menzel from Frozen


Learning to let go of negative thoughts and behaviors allows us to focus on the ones that make us happy. The imperfections that we think we have are usually unachievable high standards set by society. Our culture often shapes many of these standards, and many are impractical to reach.


When you see images of celebrities, keep in mind those photographs are airbrushed. Even regular folks use filters and photoshopping to adjust the appearance they display to the world. This creates a false reality but helps them hide what they consider to be flawed. 


We can spend a lot of our time, energy, and resources trying to achieve these impossible expectations. When we don’t achieve these standards, we consider it a failure and that can damage our self-worth and self-love.


Acceptance and self-love come when we embrace our flaws and see them as being unique to us. They are part of what makes us who we are. 


Loving ourselves begins when we learn to accept and embrace our imperfections. When we love ourselves, we become more comfortable with our flaws, and we know that they don’t define who we are. 

Work On Accepting Your Flaws


If you are serious about taking the steps to love yourself more, and building a greater sense of worth because of it, then I invite you to learn more about the following tools I developed to help you.


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